Preferred Gambit for a Parking-lot Brawl
• Survey the scene—you don’t want anyone getting the drop on you
• Scowl
• Lock eyes with your opponent and advance on him with a brisk, steady walk
• Reach out and grab the nearest metal car-radio antenna; grab it at the base
• Yank the antenna down sharply at a 90-degree angle; aim for a good, clean break
• If the antenna is collapsed, extend it
• Re-engage your opponent
• Commence thrashing
